~The Love Plant~

Hmmm....

Well, I've tot thgs over.. Chatted with a fren yesterday nite.. Gave her some counseilling... This fren of mine is going thru a very hard phase in her life... Dear fren, just in case u read this, I know u will recover.. Believe me, when all else fails, you will still have me and all the others by ur side.. So, never give up.. Cos when you do, no others can help you.. Be strong~ **winks

Hmm, as for me... I've just understood something.. It's truly very hard to keep on loving someone when you feel that you are not loved as much bek.. In the end, all you will have is dissapointment and hatred, plus.. Lots of question... Did I not give enough to deserve all this? Did he had a changed of heart? If yes, y??? If no, then what is it that I did to deserve all this? Am I reli someone so not worth being love? Truth is, there are lots of other question... But it would be too long to list down.. ='(

Well, I'm always wondering, why did he had to plant a love seed in my heart in the first place, if this is how he's gonna treat that fully bloomed plant in the end? What's love? How do u measure it?... A hard question eh?

I think I am going to set myself free... But can I?...

That love seed had since grown branches, and tiny lil flowers.. At one moment, it had already grown and all the lil flowers had fully bloomed... But now, there is no sunshine, no one waters it.. So it had in a way, withered... Sometimes, there's too much rain.. It drowns.... If I were to pluck it out of my heart, and throw it straight away, the pain would be so0 unbearable... Noe y? Cos it had since grown deep veins...

So, to throw or not to throw?.. That depends on whether I can stand the pain.. rite? But I am sure to be very careful to let another person plant seed in them... Cos the injury will only be more severe each time...

All I wanted was someone caring enough to water that plant he planted... If he know how to plant, then he should noe how to take care of it... But I thk that someone is truly so hard to find... Mayb I'm never gonna find it... Mayb I should just go bek to being the lonely me, cos I was at first lonely.. Mayb I am not even worth to taste BLISS.... haizzz....

That's my only wish for now... A guy who will make the pain worthwhile.. (: